Saturday, 15 September 2012

Mole Man

An entry from the journal of Mrs. Mole Man:

It happened again. Oh what a day. This is too much for me. I have had to replace three carpets already. This is starting to get ridiculous. I mean I knew when I married mole man that I was getting myself into “things” but this is just too much. I'm happy for him, really. Super heroes are important and I do love him so much. Just last week he saved the city from a giant alien attack. Don't get me wrong, his heroics aren't the only reason that I love him. I think he's a great person. He knows the greatest places to eat. He gets discounts at most places as well but that's besides the point. He's a helpless romantic. People always ask me how I live with a man that spends the majority of his day underground. It's actually pretty nice. His pale complexion is actually pretty hot. Like those vampires from twilight you know? He's also has a nice musky kind of smell. He's so strong too. But really, he has a great personality. He even wrote his own vows for our wedding. So I mean, I love the guy, I do. I just think we rushed into things a little bit. Kids weren't really ever first on my priority list but mole man was pretty insistent. And it started out pretty well. He was a cute baby just like any other baby. I started to notice something strange on his first birthday. I knew he loved to play in the sand box. What kid doesn't So I put him there while I was working in the garden. I was working away and the next second I turn around and he's gone. I was petrified I called the police and everything. He showed up two days later in somebody's garden on the other side of town. They said he crawled out of a hole. I didn't believe it at first but than last week I walked into the living room to find something under the rug. I thought it was some big vermin so I hit it with a chair. It didn't even phase it. Just kept crawling around. Mole man finally got home and cut it out only to find out that the mysterious thing was our son. Guess he got most of his dad's genetics. Mole man says he's harmless, but that's the third rug this week. I can' afford to put another rug down. Everyone thinks that baby superheroes are cute, but they are a handful . It's not like I can send him to a special school like in the X-men.. This isn't a movie after all.

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