Saturday, 8 September 2012

Just a troubled armadillo

Albus was a severely aggravated armadillo. Ever since his birth children's authors had been using him in their stories due to his unbelievably cute name. His parents had cursed him by using alliteration to make his name appealing to young children and as a result he could never be taken seriously. Albus tried to live his life quietly but it was hard when he was always appearing in children's fiction. Albus eventually decided to take action and form a group called Animals Against Abusive Alliteration. He did this while attending law school at Yale and thought that if he could get a few future lawyers behind the group that they could have a real impact in the future. Albus hoped to ban authors from using alliteration in their stories especially when it had a negative effect on animals. Unfortunately, the group never really took off due to the highly ironic name. A few weeks following his failed attempt at eradicating abusive alliteration with AAAA, Albus was denied a job at a law firm on the grounds that juries would not take him seriously due to his name. Using the extensive knowledge of law that he had gained over the years at Yale, Albus launched a multimillion dollar lawsuit against the company on the grounds of discrimination. After a year in court, Albus won the lawsuit and now lives a happy retired life somewhere in the cayman islands.

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