Albus was a severely aggravated
armadillo. Ever since his birth children's authors had been using
him in their stories due to his unbelievably cute name. His parents
had cursed him by using alliteration to make his name appealing to
young children and as a result he could never be taken seriously.
Albus tried to live his life quietly but it was hard when he was
always appearing in children's fiction. Albus eventually decided to
take action and form a group called Animals Against Abusive
Alliteration. He did this while attending law school at Yale and
thought that if he could get a few future lawyers behind the group
that they could have a real impact in the future. Albus hoped to ban
authors from using alliteration in their stories especially when it
had a negative effect on animals. Unfortunately, the group never
really took off due to the highly ironic name. A few weeks following
his failed attempt at eradicating abusive alliteration with AAAA,
Albus was denied a job at a law firm on the grounds that juries would
not take him seriously due to his name. Using the extensive knowledge
of law that he had gained over the years at Yale, Albus launched a
multimillion dollar lawsuit against the company on the grounds of
discrimination. After a year in court, Albus won the lawsuit and now
lives a happy retired life somewhere in the cayman islands.
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